A woman with exceptionally large earrings walks into a bar….
ME: Hi there.
EARRINGS: I’m waiting for someone, but I’ll have a drink while I’m waiting.
EARRINGS: That’s okay, right?
ME: I certainly don’t see why not. That sounds like a very reasonable request. Know what you’d like?
EARRINGS: Yeah, what kind of wine do you have by the glass?
ME: How about a drink list?
ME: You’d like a chardonnay.
EARRINGS: What kinds do you have?
ME: We have one kind.
EARRINGS: I’ll have that. And an appetizer menu.
EARRINGS: What’s good?
ME: Depends what you’re in the mood for. For what it’s worth, the cheese curds and the pretzel are the most popular, but the fried pickles are my personal favorite.
EARRINGS: I’ll have those.
ME: The pickles?
Five minutes later, the fried pickles have arrived.
EARRINGS: (A finger extended into the air.) Excuse me?
ME: How is everything?
EARRINGS: Are these actual pickles?
ME: They are actual, honest-to-god pickles.
ME: Everything’s good?
EARRINGS: It’s just, this isn’t what I was expecting.
ME: Oh? (Pause.) Okay. What were you expecting?
EARRINGS: I don’t know, but just not pickles.
EARRINGS: I hate to be that person, but I just don’t really care for pickles.
ME: Let’s get you something else, then, shall we?
EARRINGS: Sorry to be a pain.
ME: No problem.