Actual Customer Interactions: Actual Pickles

A woman with exceptionally large earrings walks into a bar….

ME: Hi there.

EARRINGS: I’m waiting for someone, but I’ll have a drink while I’m waiting.

ME: Sure.

EARRINGS: That’s okay, right?

ME: I certainly don’t see why not. That sounds like a very reasonable request. Know what you’d like?

EARRINGS: Yeah, what kind of wine do you have by the glass?

ME: How about a drink list?

EARRINGS: Chardonnay.

ME: You’d like a chardonnay.

EARRINGS: What kinds do you have?

ME: We have one kind.

EARRINGS: I’ll have that. And an appetizer menu.

ME: Okay.

EARRINGS: What’s good?

ME: Depends what you’re in the mood for. For what it’s worth, the cheese curds and the pretzel are the most popular, but the fried pickles are my personal favorite.

EARRINGS: I’ll have those.

ME: The pickles?

EARRINGS: Yeah.

ME: Okay.

Five minutes later, the fried pickles have arrived.

EARRINGS: (A finger extended into the air.) Excuse me?

ME: How is everything?

EARRINGS: Are these actual pickles?

ME: They are actual, honest-to-god pickles.

EARRINGS: Oh.

ME: Everything’s good?

EARRINGS: It’s just, this isn’t what I was expecting.

ME: Oh? (Pause.) Okay. What were you expecting?

EARRINGS: I don’t know, but just not pickles.

ME: Okay.

EARRINGS: I hate to be that person, but I just don’t really care for pickles.

ME: Let’s get you something else, then, shall we?

EARRINGS: Sorry to be a pain.

ME: No problem.

genius