Actual Customer Interactions: Birthday Boy

bday boy

A young professional-looking couple that probably works at Epic walks into a bar….

ME: (Handing out menus.) How are you today?

GAL: It’s his birthday.

GUY: It’s my birthday.

ME: Awesome.

(Pause.)

ME: Happy birthday.

GUY: Do I get anything?

ME: Uh.

GUY: Do I?

ME: Get anything?

GUY: Yeah.

ME: For free?

GUY: Yeah. A shot or something?

ME: No.

GUY: Really?

ME: My heartiest of congratulations to you?

GUY: Not even a half-priced beer?

ME: I can give you a candle for your beer.

GAL: It’s his thirtieth birthday.

ME: From one thirty-something to another, welcome to the club.

GAL: Why don’t you do anything for birthdays?

ME: I don’t know. It’s not our thing, I guess. I don’t get to make those decisions.

GUY: I bet if I was a chick he’d give me something for free.

ME: It’s a cruel world we live in.

GUY: Whatever. I’ll just have a Spotted Cow.

GAL: Same.

ME: Okay.