The following interaction between two coastie girls was overheard whilst I was seated upon a bar stool at the Old Fashioned.
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Coastie betches in their natural habitat.
COASTIE GIRL #1: …and she was totally wearing a RED thong!
COASTIE GIRL #2: Oh my god. Underneath that gray dress??
CG1: Yes! That’s what I’m telling you. It was BRIGHT. RED. Underneath a gray dress. And you could totally see it!
CG2: Oh my god, that girl needs help.
CG1: She’s beyond help.
CG2: That is mortifying. What should we eat?
CG1: Definitely cheese curds.
CG2: I feel like chicken tenders and ranch dressing. Do they have chicken tenders here? (flags down a bartender) Excuse me? Hi. Do you have chicken tenders?
BARTENDER: We do, but only on our kid’s menu.
CG2: So I can’t have chicken tenders?
BARTENDER: Right.
CG1: Well, we definitely want cheese curds.
CG2: And… (insert a horrific attempt at insincere flirtation) can you make chicken tenders happen?
BARTENDER: Only if you are under twelve. And since I just served you both beers… No.