A real B-word walks into a bar…
ME: Hi there.
B-WORD: I’m not ready to order.
ME: Perfectly acceptable. You just sat down, after all.
B-WORD: I’ll let you know when I’m ready.
ME: Okay. (Grabs menu, sets down glass of water.)
B-WORD: What’s this?
ME: Uh. A glass of water?
B-WORD: I didn’t order this.
ME: No, you did not.
B-WORD: I’m not going to drink it.
ME: That’s okay. It’s there if you need it.
B-WORD: Well, I’m not going to pay for it.
ME: Don’t worry; tap water’s free on Fridays.
B-WORD: Please take it away, I won’t need it.
ME: Okay. (Dumps water down the drain.) Figured out what you’d like?
B-WORD: What’s your oakiest Chardonnay?
ME: I only have one Chardonnay at the moment. I’ll grab you a taste.
B-WORD: (Tastes the wine.) No, I don’t care for that.
ME: Anything else on the list you’d like to try?
B-WORD: No. I’ll just have water.