Actual Customer Interactions: Free On Fridays

obama

A real B-word walks into a bar…

ME: Hi there.

B-WORD: I’m not ready to order.

ME: Perfectly acceptable. You just sat down, after all.

B-WORD: I’ll let you know when I’m ready.

ME: Okay. (Grabs menu, sets down glass of water.)

B-WORD: What’s this?

ME: Uh. A glass of water?

B-WORD: I didn’t order this.

ME: No, you did not.

B-WORD: I’m not going to drink it.

ME: That’s okay. It’s there if you need it.

B-WORD: Well, I’m not going to pay for it.

ME: Don’t worry; tap water’s free on Fridays.

B-WORD: Please take it away, I won’t need it.

ME: Okay. (Dumps water down the drain.) Figured out what you’d like?

B-WORD: What’s your oakiest Chardonnay?

ME: I only have one Chardonnay at the moment. I’ll grab you a taste.

B-WORD: (Tastes the wine.) No, I don’t care for that.

ME: Anything else on the list you’d like to try?

B-WORD: No. I’ll just have water.

imbecile