Two ladies walk into a bar, sit down, spread out work materials, order lunch….
L1: Is there a half sandwich and soup option?
ME: There is.
L1: I want a half grilled cheese and soup.
L2: I want the same exact thing–a half grilled cheese sandwich and soup–only I just actually want the bread and the cheese, none of the other detriments—
ME: Accoutrements?
L2: What?
ME: Nothing. Sorry. A half grilled cheese with nothing on it, with soup. Got it.
L1: Actually, I actually want the same thing. Just bread and cheese.
ME: Two plain half grilled cheeses and soup.
L2: Just bread and cheese.
ME: Right.
(Places the order, food arrives promptly.)
ME: How’s everything look, ladies? Got everything you need?
L2: Um, we actually ordered half grilled cheeses.
(They’ve received full-sized sandwiches.)
ME: Well, it looks like the kitchen made a mistake. The good news is you get a full sandwich, and the better news is you’ll only be charged for what you ordered.
L1: A half grilled cheese sandwich.
ME: Right. All’s well?
(Walks away, is flagged back moments later.)
L2: Excuse me? This bread is burnt.
L1: Yeah, this bread is pretty burnt, actually.
ME: (thinking the sandwiches look fine) Shall we have the sandwiches remade?
L1: No, we won’t have time. We’re kind of in a rush.
L2: Yeah, we probably won’t have time to wait, actually. We just thought you’d appreciate knowing that the bread is burnt.
ME: Okay.
(Forty minutes later, the ladies are still leisurely working at the bar, and every morsel of food has been consumed.)
ME: (Clearing the two plates) What else ladies? How’re we doing?
L1: We’re ready for our bill.
ME: Sounds good. (Drops bill) Take your time with that.
L2: Um, you charged us for the sandwiches.
L1: He charged us for the sandwiches?
ME: I charged you for the half sandwiches you ordered. You received full-sized sandwiches.
L2: But the bread was burnt.
ME: But you ate the whole thing. Both halves. Both of you did.
L2: Most places would’ve taken the sandwiches off the bill.
ME: I don’t think I can really justify knocking any more off the bill since you ate everything of what would normally have been a $12 meal and are only getting charged $7.
L2: It just would’ve been a nice gesture, that’s all.
ME: I can grab my boss for you, if you’d like.
L2: No, we need to get back to the office.
ME: Okay.