Two ladies walk into a bar, sit down, spread out work materials, order lunch….
L1: Is there a half sandwich and soup option?
ME: There is.
L1: I want a half grilled cheese and soup.
L2: I want the same exact thing–a half grilled cheese sandwich and soup–only I just actually want the bread and the cheese, none of the other detriments—
ME: Nothing. Sorry. A half grilled cheese with nothing on it, with soup. Got it.
L1: Actually, I actually want the same thing. Just bread and cheese.
ME: Two plain half grilled cheeses and soup.
L2: Just bread and cheese.
(Places the order, food arrives promptly.)
ME: How’s everything look, ladies? Got everything you need?
L2: Um, we actually ordered half grilled cheeses.
(They’ve received full-sized sandwiches.)
ME: Well, it looks like the kitchen made a mistake. The good news is you get a full sandwich, and the better news is you’ll only be charged for what you ordered.
L1: A half grilled cheese sandwich.
ME: Right. All’s well?
(Walks away, is flagged back moments later.)
L2: Excuse me? This bread is burnt.
L1: Yeah, this bread is pretty burnt, actually.
ME: (thinking the sandwiches look fine) Shall we have the sandwiches remade?
L1: No, we won’t have time. We’re kind of in a rush.
L2: Yeah, we probably won’t have time to wait, actually. We just thought you’d appreciate knowing that the bread is burnt.
(Forty minutes later, the ladies are still leisurely working at the bar, and every morsel of food has been consumed.)
ME: (Clearing the two plates) What else ladies? How’re we doing?
L1: We’re ready for our bill.
ME: Sounds good. (Drops bill) Take your time with that.
L2: Um, you charged us for the sandwiches.
L1: He charged us for the sandwiches?
ME: I charged you for the half sandwiches you ordered. You received full-sized sandwiches.
L2: But the bread was burnt.
ME: But you ate the whole thing. Both halves. Both of you did.
L2: Most places would’ve taken the sandwiches off the bill.
ME: I don’t think I can really justify knocking any more off the bill since you ate everything of what would normally have been a $12 meal and are only getting charged $7.
L2: It just would’ve been a nice gesture, that’s all.
ME: I can grab my boss for you, if you’d like.
L2: No, we need to get back to the office.