Actual Customer Interactions: Vol. 9

ME: Alright, ma’am, have you decided what you’d like to order?

MA’AM: Do you have anything on your menu that is gluten free?

ME: Truthfully, not really. But we can modify just about anything to get rid of the gluten for you.

MA’AM: (glowers at the menu)

ME: (stands awkwardly, awaiting further instructions) Would you like some more time?

MA’AM: No. I’m ready.

ME: Fire away.

MA’AM: I gonna do your salmon salad.

ME: Sounds good.

MA’AM: But because of my gluten intolerance, I would like to substitute a burger patty for the salmon.

ME: (beat) Are you sure you aren’t just seafood intolerant?

MA’AM: (stares blankly)

ME: One burger salad, coming right up.