LADY: (placing a napkin over her old-fashioned) I have to leave for a minute. Can you make sure this drink doesn’t get poured out?
ME: Of course.
LADY: I might be a little bit.
ME: No worries. I’ll watch that thing like a hawk. She’ll be there when you come back.
ME: How long’s it been since that lady took off?
BARBACK: I dunno. About a half hour, I think..
ME: That’s a long time. How long do you think we should wait before we dump that drink? (indicating the watered-down drink still sitting upon the bar, covered with a soggy napkin)
BARBACK: I dunno.
ME: Aren’t you a lot of help.
ME: This is fucking ridiculous. I’m gonna dump that drink. She’s not coming back. (dumps drink)
LADY: (reenters, gesticulating wildly with flailing, sleeveless arms) Excuse me, sir! Sir! Someone poured my drink out!
ME: Sorry, that was me. I didn’t think you were coming back.
LADY: But I told you I was coming back!
ME: I literally poured it out two minutes ago. It was a pretty dead soldier–didn’t at all resemble the fine drink it once was. Do you want me to make you a new one?
LADY: Forget it. I don’t have time to drink it anyway. I have to be on a plane in twenty-five minutes.
ME: (scratches head)
RICARDOS: Can I help you with something?
MAN: I wanted to ask about the room you have for rent.
RICARDOS: Do you have an appointment to look at the room this morning?
RICARDOS: How many people are you thinking of having?
MAN: Just one.
RICARDOS: A party of one?
MAN: I was hoping…to live there.
RICARDOS: It’s not that kind of room.
LITTLE BRAT: (walks up to the host stand) I want a free soda!
F-BOMB: Well, you can’t have a free soda. Now go on and get, ya hear?