WHAT? Kentucky Bourbon Distiller’s Vintage Bourbon, aged 17 years.
WHERE? My couch.
ARE YOU COVERED IN DOGS? Check. Lilah is currently mouth-banging the couch cushion, while Jack is loudly mouth-banging himself.
WHAT A PERV. I know, right?
HOW DID YOU OBTAIN SUCH AN ITEM? I won it in a raffle, thanks to Harvest Restaurant!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Lots going on in the nose (very grainy/earthy). The body is big time and fierce and has a nice smokey aspect that’ll get you right in the back of the palate. It’s firewater for sure. As with most whiskeys, a little water or an ice cube will mellow out some of that burn, which will, in turn, bring out some of the spirit’s more interesting characteristics. In this one, a little ice gave the whiskey an almost nutty flavor. That’s right. I said ‘fierce’ and ‘nutty’ in the same paragraph. Suck it.
WHAT KIND OF NUTS? Deez nuts.
HOW HIGH-OCTANE ARE WE TALKING? 94 proof. Like I said: firewater. You’ll need a cigarette when you’re done.
HOW MUCH IS A BOTTLE GONNA RUN ME? Depending on where you find it, a bottle’s gonna be somewhere in the ballpark of $65.
DEEP THOUGHTS? Vintage Bourbon is a bourbon lover’s dream, and would be killer with a nice cigar. Novices, however, might want to steer clear. This is Big League juice–not to be mixed with…well, anything besides a little water. Otherwise, it’s just a damn waste. If you hear someone order a Vintage Bourbon and cola, please slug them in the throat.