YO. Yo yourself.
WHAT’RE YOU DRINKIN?’ A beer.
CLEARLY. WHAT KIND OF BEER? A nice little bottled autumnal brown ale from Sierra Nevada called Tumbler.
WOULD YOU KINDLY DESCRIBE SAID BEVERAGE? I would be happy to, my good man. The beer has a very pleasant, roasted (almost nutty) nose and possesses an inviting dark red coloring. I could go into the lacing (the pattern left by the head as it moves down the glass as the beer is consumed) and all that shit, but then I’d sound like one of the wieners on BeerAdvocate.com. So I’ll leave that alone.
AND HOW DOES IT TASTE? Honestly, it’s a little on the thin side–not as full-bodied as I typically prefer in a brown ale–but the roasted malt flavor is nice and even, and it finishes very clean. The body is medium to light, and thinking about putting down a couple of these babies while gorging myself on a big steak is making my tummy gurgle and burp.
HOW MUCH’LL YOU HAVE TO DRINK TO GET LIT? Well, I could probably drink close to a thousand before I’d get drunk because I’m pretty rad and stuff, but it’s pretty mellow stuff; the ABV checks in at 5.5%. Not quite a session beer, but it’s not an ass-kicker either. One could drink three or four bottles and not hate themselves in the morning.
WOULD YOU DRINK ANOTHER ONE? Absolutely. I have another five bottles in the fridge. They will not last long, me thinks.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SAY BEFORE YOU GO? You look really good today.
OH, SNAP. THANKS. You’re welcome.