Big-Ass Bottle Review: Samuel Adams’ Dark Depths

YOU LOOK TIRED. I’ve had a long day today, so I decided to reward myself with a big damn bottle of beer to wind things down. Because I deserve it, dammit.

AMEN, BROTHER. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? The Dark Depths Baltic IPA from Samuel Adams.

SOUNDS OMINOUS. I know. Spooky.

WAIT, ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A PLAYING CARD FOR MAGIC: THE GATHERING? God, no. Most certainly not.

WHAT IS IT THEN? Basically, it is a hodgepodge of a bunch of brewing styles. They start with a malty, Baltic-style porter, add an ass-ton of hops to that base, throw in some lager yeast, and then cold-ferment that bad boy.

WHAT THE HELL IS A BALTIC PORTER, BY THE WAY? I’m glad you asked; I was curious as well. The Sam Adams website actually has a pretty good description.

MAY I HEAR IT? You may. Thank you for using your big boy manners. Here you go:

Baltic Porters date back to 18th century when the English style was exported along the trade routes of the Baltic Sea.  However, the beer that took hold there was different than its English original.  The new Baltic Porter retained the dark roasted malts but was higher in alcohol and used a lager yeast, common to the region from other beer styles.  India Pale Ales have a similar history as they took the basis of an English Pale Ale and were strengthened and fortified for the journey to India.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I dig it, man. Black IPAs have been a big trend for the last couple of years, and I’ve been all about it. Black IPAs generally taste like a porter and an IPA made sweet, naughty love and produced a delicious hybrid love child. The Dark Depths, though, takes this genre of beer-making to another level. It’s got a nice, light flavor on account of the citrusy hops, while packing a good punch (the ABV’s 7.6%), and the roasted malts lend to a kick ass, triumphant finish comprised of a nice mixture of cocoa and spice.

WHERE’D YOU FIND THIS GEM? I picked this 22oz. bottle of glory up at Trixie’s Liquor on E. Washington St. in Madison. They don’t have a website, or else I’d link it.

DEEP THOUGHTS? For anybody out there who turns their nose up at Sam Adams because it has become a big name in the beer world should give their specialty brews a try. They’re doing some crazy, adventurous shit these days. If you feel like getting really weird, try and get your hands on their Utopias. Holy mother of god. It’s mind-blowing. And not to mention it has an ABV of, like 28%. It’s colossal. Click here if you feel like watching an utterly worthless video that contains zero information about anything besides how brown liquid swirls around a fancy-looking glass.