Nothin’ but bad tidings for the poor souls at MillerCoors these days. Let’s take a look, shall we?
First up, embezzlement! (Or if you prefer a much uglier word for it, misappropriation.*) Dave Colletti, a former MillerCoors vice president, is being charged along with seven others with planning to scam $7 million from the brewer of light mediocre beer. “The indictment says Colletti worked with the others to submit estimates and invoices that falsely billed MillerCoors for fictitious promotional events, and for events at inflated prices.” Whoops. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
Next? Mediocre sales. “MillerCoors LLC reported a 1 percent fall in quarterly net sales on Thursday, hurt by lower demand for its Coors Light beer and some of its more expensive brands.” Based on all the bros I see demanding the Silver Bullet at the bar, I’m quite frankly shocked. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
And finally… lawsuit! Poor MillerCoors is being sued for marketing Blue Moon as a craft beer. The lawsuit, filed in San Diego, “claims that MillerCoors has gone to ‘great lengths to disassociate Blue Moon beer from the MillerCoors name,’ and practices deceptive marketing practices to lead consumers into thinking Blue Moon is in fact brewed by a smaller institution.” Go check out the Blue Moon website and you’ll find that t’s hard to disagree with that assessment. Though I’d sue ’em for popularizing the notion of adding fruit to your beer. Annoys the hell out of me, it does. (Fox News)
*A shiny new quarter for the first person to identify this particular Simpsons reference.