I have a dog. Her name is Lilah. She is five. Thirty-five in dog years. She needs to be walked frequently in order to urinate/defecate all over the neighborhood. Oftentimes, I’ll bring a beer or two with me on our adventures along the sidewalks of Madison’s near-east side. Tonight’s beverage of choice was a bottle of Alaskan Winter Ale.
IT’S ALSO HALLOWEEN. LOTS OF DOUCHE ABOUT? Remarkably little, as a matter of fact. But it is early.
AND LILAH’S BOWEL MOVEMENTS? Firm and regular. She’s good at pooping.
WHAT’S THE BEER LIKE? It’s an English-style ale brewed with spruce tips. Apparently, that’s a thing in Alaska. It’s a medium bodied ale with full amber coloring, weighing in at a healthy 6.4% ABV.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WHOLE SPRUCE TIPS THING? Well, I’m not sure I like it. Everything about the beer is very nice–smooth, malty, crisp–but the finish is kinda weird. It clings to the back of your throat and doesn’t go away. When I’m drinking beer, I want to drink beer, not beer that tastes vaguely like gin. And I like gin.
WAIT–DID YOUR DOG JUST TAKE A DUMP ON THE CAPITOL LAWN? Why, yes. She did indeed. The capitol lawn is her favorite place to shit. It’s her own little political statement. She’s not a big fan of Scott Walker because her daddy’s not a big fan of Scott Walker. Don’t worry, I’ll pick it up.
OKAY, BACK TO THE BEER. WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? Absolutely. This beer is definitely worth trying, and I have a feeling that it’ll be a love it or hate it kind of deal with most people. It’s not offensive by any means; it’s just not my thing. I will certainly drink the remainder of my six pack without complaint, but I doubt that I will ever repurchase this particular item.
IS YOUR ANIMAL ALWAYS IN THE HABIT OF STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROSSWALK TO LICK OUT HER BUTT HOLE AFTER VOIDING? Yup. Without fail. Right in the middle of the street. That’s my girl!