There can be some embarrassment in navigating one’s self homewards, bleary-eyed and disheveled, after an evening of random, possibly mind-blowing (but most likely drunken and awkward) sex with a stranger or mild acquaintance. I can recall one New Year’s Eve in particular that resulted in my walking home from a girl’s apartment on the first day of 2005 in such a state that I am sure I have to still be the butt of any number of jokes in any number of circles of people who might have had the misfortune of seeing me shuffle past, looking like a complete befuddled disaster. Sure, that particular journey home was a bit awkward, but I’d spent the first hours of the new year getting laid, so I wasn’t overly concerned.
Now, I realize full well that a ‘walk of shame’ can have much different implications for a woman, given our country’s proclivities towards really fun double standards. Thankfully, there is a solution: a walk of shame kit, courtesy of WalkOfShameKit.com! Huzzah! Problem solved!
I heard about this over the weekend while listening to Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me! on NPR.
There is no longer a need to be embarrassed by doing the “walk of shame”, all of your problems are solved with the Walk of Shame™ Kit. It’s everything you’ll need to walk home with your head held high.And for you guys, aren’t you tired of her taking your favorite tee-shirt the morning after to walk home in. Your problem is now solved, keep a Walk of Shame™ Kit in your house and you don’t have to worry about calling her to get your favorite tee back again.
Personally, any time I’ve been presented with the above situation, I haven’t been too worried with getting the t-shirt back….
Each kit includes:
Morning after coverall, also makes a great beach/pool cover up. 100% cotton. OSFM. (one size fits most).
Feet saver flip flops. Because you can’t run away fast enough in the heels from last night. OSFM.
Drawstring backpack to be able to make a quick getaway with all your belongings. 100% cotton.
Red eye hiding black out sunglasses.
4/5 dentists remind you that you may not remember where your mouth has been
Hypo-allergenic “all-over” wipes. Safe for your face and anywhere below.
|Call/Don’t Call leave behind note card
Just in case he doesn’t remember your name and number, unless you dont want him to (flip card over).
|Contained in this kit is a breast cancer awareness bracelet. A portion of the proceeds have been donated on your behalf to a breast cancer foundation.|
So there you go, dear readers. Another delightful novelty to further enable and liberate our drinking, sexual, and hookup culture. American industrial ingenuity, you’ve done it again!