Freedom to the Beverage…

…while making you look like a lumpy jackass!

I literally just stumbled upon this website, and I feel as though it would be a crime to not share it with the half-dozen people who frequent this website on a regular basis. Behold, if you will, the Beer Belly:


What the hell is this contraption, you are asking? Well, it is “the stealth beverage system that makes it easy to sneak a drink where ever you want! It holds 80oz, thats more than a six pack of your favorite beverage!

(Can you spot how many punctuation/grammatical/spelling errors there are in the above sentence, which was pulled verbatim from the product’s website?)

Ladies, if you’re feeling left out, don’t. These folks haven’t forgotten about you, rest assured. For those blessed with two wonderful X chromosomes, there is the Wine Rack:

Here’s what the website has to say about this incredible piece of apparel: “Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.

(And, look! More horrible writing/punctuation/grammar!)

Do you want larger, weird-looking breasts that hold wine-type liquids instead of what god intended?? Do you, gentlemen, want a fake, unattractive beer belly that holds actual beer? Well, your prayers have been answered because now you can for a nominal fee!


So, there you have it. Wow. I’m sorry, and you’re welcome.

Both photos are courtesy of