Got A Hangover? Bang It Away!

Beer science!

It doesn’t really much matter who you like to bang or get banged by, I think we can all agree that sex is pretty much awesome, however you like to have it. Unless it’s with an animal. That’s weird.

dudecat

Here’s some more incentive to get busy with your partner, as if you needed any: having sex can help alleviate the pain of a hangover.

Sex releases oxytocin, which increases your threshold for pain, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., sex researcher and educator at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University.

Well, alrighty then.

There is no research that shows that sex will make a hangover go away, but maybe it will make the time go faster,” says Joris C. Verster, Ph.D., assistant professor at Utrecht University in the Netherlands. “If it makes you happy, go for it.

Okay, Dr. Verster. Go back to your professor tower.

Physical contact releases […] happy-making hormones. And feeling cuddly and warm about the world beats out feeling glum and self-punishing. The trick is you have to do it with someone you like because, most of the time time, sex with someone you don’t like is probably not going to help anything—and definitely not your hangover.

Makes sense. Why make a bad decision worse? Beware the beer goggles. They exist.

i am male & it seems to help me with a hangover
i do not know if it helps females

Thanks for the astute observation?

Avoid oral sex on him (hello, gag reflect + nausea = you probably choke-vomiting on his penis), staying away from acrobatic positions, and taking things slow (again, vomiting mid-hookup is not cute).

Wait, getting barfed on mid-felatio ISN’T cute?! Am I missing something?

shitting

Okay, fine. So maybe there’s no real scientific proof that having sex can cure a hangover, but do we really need proof? I mean, really? Do it anyway! Just use protection and stuff. We don’t need any more ‘accidents’ running around on this over-populated rock.

The ever-informative Cosmo was even kind enough to provide us with three good hangover sex positions:

1. The Saucy Spoon: Lie on your sides, facing the same direction. Bring your up knees slightly while he enters from behind. Now, slowly start moving and get into a groove. You could even have him give you a little shoulder massage, if you’d like. (You had a rough night!) Plus, he’ll have more leverage to thrust and hit your G-spot with his hands on your shoulders.

2. Sitting Sex: If you’re at the point where you think you can sit up, have him sit on the bed with his legs outstretched. Put a pillow behind his back so he’s comfortable. Straddle him and start gyrating. If you’re feeling sleepy, drape your body over him while you move. Give each other a supportive hug while you have slow sex.

3. Mutual Masturbation: Instead of having sex, consider mutual masturbation. This way both you and your partner can go at your own pace while watching each other self-pleasure. Take a notes on what your man likes so you can incorporate the moves into your next non-hungover play date.

I’m a big fan of supportive hugs. Thanks, Cosmo!

And if sex doesn’t make you feel better, there’s always Hangover Sauerkraut Soup…

3 slices bacon
1 small onion chopped
1 teaspoon paprika
4 cups water
1 ham hock
1 green pepper seeded, deribbed, and sliced
1 tomato sliced
16 ounces sauerkraut
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup sour cream, plus sour cream for accompaniment
1/2 pound spicy smoked sausage thinly sliced
In a Dutch oven over medium-high heat, brown bacon until fat is rendered. Remove bacon with a slotted utensil and reserve for another use. Add onion to bacon drippings and saute until translucent (about 5 minutes). Add paprika, the water, ham hock, pepper, and tomato. Cover, bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer until meat is tender (about 1 1/2 hours).

Drain sauerkraut and turn into a colander. Briefly under cold water and drain again. sauerkraut to Dutch oven and simmer 20 minutes; do not overcook.

Remove ham hockfrom pot; pull meat from bones and return meat to pot. In a small bowl stir together flour and the 1 cup sour cream. Add to soup mixture along with sausage. Reheat to serving temperature, stirring; do not boil.

To serve, ladle into soup bowls and serve immediately. Pass a bowl of sour cream.