I Drank This

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I drank this. It’s Old Thompson American Whiskey, and it’s terrible.

WHY DID YOU DRINK IT? Wellsir, I was in my way to a screening of The Avengers, and it struck me that it would be wise to have at hand an additive to the fountain Pepsi that I was sure to purchase.

HOW MUCH WAS IT? Four American dollars.

DO YOU REGRET IT? Yes. Sort of. But not in a garment-rending way.

HOW WAS THE BOOZE? Terrible. Zero stars. It made the Pepsi more repulsive than usual.

HOW WAS THE MOVIE? Awesome, and it didn’t even make sense to me. Because I’m still not really clear on the whole “Thor” thing. He’s an alien, but a god too? Is that right? I mean, I saw the “Iron Man” movies, and I get that. It’s a suit. And “Captain America,” sure. But “Thor” I’m not clear on. Of course, I didn’t see that movie, so that would probably help. But I think I got the point of the whole “Avengers” thing, which is that it’s spectacular to see shit blow up while cool-ass peeps say cool-ass things. Also, the Hulk was awesome, so that didn’t hurt. I didn’t see the last “Hulk” movie with Mr. Orange and the guy from “Fight Club.” Was it any good?