Smart people drink more. It’s science.
In two studies conducted in the United States and United Kingdom, children’s intelligence was measured and categorized in five groups ranging from “very dull” to “very bright.” When the study participants were assessed later in life (the Brits checked in from their 20s to their 40s) the “brighter” kids were the ones who emptied more glasses more often.
I always suspected this to be the case. And I think my consumption puts me at genius level, frankly. I’m going to apply for a MacArthur Genius Grant to fund further studies.