Instant Beer Review: Blatz

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THE BEER: Blatz

SERIOUSLY? Yes

WHY BOTHER? Shut up, it’s good

LIES! LIES! LIES! Okay, not good, really. But it’s a reasonable simulacrum of a lager.

JESUS, FINE. WHERE? The Old Fashioned Tavern & Restaurant

WHAT IS IT? It’s Blatz. It’s like alcoholic mineral water.

IS IT GOOD? Naw.

SO WHAT’S THE POINT? Sometimes you need a refreshing change from beverages with actual flavor. What are you gonna do, drink water?

HOW MUCH? $1.75 per pint. A steal, really.

DEEP THOUGHTS: There’s no place for deep thoughts when Blatz is involved. It’s cold and tastes vaguely like beer. But if you need refreshment after some form of manual labor, or if it’s 7:30 am and you’ve got only a few minutes before work? It’s Blatz, baby!