Instant Beer Review: Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale

20140225-150400.jpgWHAT’S GOING ON? Aside from the fact that I’m sitting two bar stools away from a scary, fat No Country For Old Men Josh Brolin lookalike on one side and two crazy old bats splitting a bottle of rosé on the other?

YES, ASIDE FROM THAT. ALTHOUGH THAT DOES SOUND TRAUMATIC. It is. I’m surrounded!

SUCK IT UP? Okay. I’m having lunch at DLUX and drinking a glass of Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale.

DLUX? It’s a Food Fight restaurant. I haven’t eaten here in forever. It’s still really douchey–the shitty Top 40 music is almost as ear-piercing as the awful classic country at The Old Fashioned–but, god help me, the food is pretty good.

WHAT’S THE BEER? It’s a hybrid of a Scotch ale, an IPA, and an American brown ale. The Dogfish website has this to say:

The beer has characteristics of each style that inspired it: the color of an American Brown, the caramel notes of a Scotch Ale, and the hopping regimen of an India Pale Ale. We dry-hop the Indian Brown Ale in a similar fashion to our 60 Minute IPA and 90 Minute IPA. This beer is brewed with Aromatic barley and organic brown sugar.

HOW MANY AMERICAN DOLLARS WILL THAT COST ME DURING THESE TRYING ECONOMIC TIMES? $5.00, to be exact. No pesos are allowed.

ABV? 7%

IS IT GOOD? It’s a Dogfish beer; of course it’s good! It almost goes without saying. Dogfish Head beers are always adventurous, accessible, and consistent, and their Indian Brown Ale is no exception. This dark red-colored beer has a smooth hoppy bite that’s really more of a hoppy nip in the tush.

‘A HOPPY NIP IN THE TUSH?’ That’s right. That’s what I said, and I’m sticking to it. It’s like drinking a Newcastle if Newcastle had some balls.

I’LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. I wasn’t speaking literally.

SURE YOU WEREN’T…. A beer can’t have balls!

IF YOU SAY SO. I’m going home before the drunk rosé ladies start getting handsy.

THE BLONDE ONE LIKES YOU, DUDE. SUGAR MAMA TIME! Thanks, but I’m good. They’re talking about ticks. Getting bitten by ticks. Lyme Disease, dude.

RUN? Check, please!