Instant Beer Review: Southern Tier Choklat Stout

HOLA. Como estas, bitches!

WHOA. I’ve got a day off today!

GOOD FOR YOU. SO, YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY DRINKING? Obvi.

WHAT? It’s what the kids’re saying these days. It’s short for ‘obviously.’ Saves time.

IF YOU SAY SO. WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? A nice little goblet of a Southern Tier Choklat Stout.

OH REALLY? It’s a fact. I am indeed drinking it. With my mouth and face.

WHAT IS IT? A hefty Imperial stout brewed with chocolate.

ABV? 10-11%

PRICE TAG? $6.00 for a 10 oz. pour.

WHERE YOU AT? Alchemy!

IF I WAS HYPOTHETICALLY INTERESTED IN TRYING THIS BEVERAGE, WOULD I NEED TO HURRY? Most likely. According to Southern Tier’s website, Choklat is only available in big-ass 22 oz. bottles or 1/6 barrels. There’s no telling how much of the stuff Alchemy is sitting on.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? It’s quite rich, almost dessert-like. The chocolate 20140218-133748.jpgflavors are forward throughout each sip, and the finish is velvety and creamy. The beer has a lot of texture to it without a lot of bite, which yields itself to imbibers who would typically prefer something sweet and savory instead of bitter and hoppy. But watch it: the high alcohol content is nearly perfectly masked by the pronounced chocolaty notes. It’d be easy to overdo it with this beer.

LOOK AT YOU GIVING ADVICE ON ‘OVERDOING IT.’ Let’s be clear. I’m not giving advice, I’m merely providing a warning for one to heed as they see fit. If they see fit.

CHOKLAT GETS YOUR THUMBS UP? It does. I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, so one is plenty. But I enjoyed my 10 ounces thoroughly.

WELL GOOD FOR YOU. WHAT’S NEXT ON THIS DAY OFF? Grocery shopping.

EW. SO YOU’LL BE HAVING ANOTHER BEER? Duh. I can’t deal with that circus sober.

GODSPEED. And to you.

AMEN. Whatever.