Instant Beverage Review: Ecto Cooler


OH HEY HOW’S IT GOING HOLY HELL WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS THAT? It’s a taster of Hi-C Ecto Cooler!

THAT STILL EXISTS? It’s back, baby!

HOW DID YOU COME UPON THIS? A person who works for a beverage distribution company dates a person who plays ball-sports with a person who enjoys novelty items and has a tendency to hand them out for amusement. And here we are. 

I AM CONFUSED. Me too. Let’s move on. 

IT LOOKS NUCLEAR. It does. And yet, it’s actually rather pleasant. It doesn’t taste anywhere near as much like a mind-rotting energy drink as you’d expect. 

HOW DOES IT TASTE? Let’s let the panel weigh in:

“Not as obnoxious as I expected.”

“Tastes more like Gatorade than I remember.”

“Kind of like baby aspirin.”

DO YOU CONCUR? I’d say it’s citrus-y. Or citrus-esque. Reminiscent of citrus, but not really citrus. Just watery enough to not be cloying. 

IS THAT GOOD OR BAD? I’m gonna say good. 

ONE LAST THING… YOU REALIZE THAT IS NOT AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE? But it could be a solid mixer! Ecto-tinis! Ecto-ritas! Ecto… uh… and bourbon! Make it happen, people!