Instant Booze Review: Old Fashioned, Up North Style

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From the North Woods Desk:

THE PLACE: The Pines on Crooked Lake.

THE DRINK: Bourbon old fashioned sour. With mushrooms.

LOOKS… PINK? Probably the mystery liquid from the unmarked squeeze bottle.

TERRFYING. AND MUSHROOMS, YOU SAY? One can never have enough pickled mushrooms.

WORDS TO LIVE BY. WHAT’S THE BOURBON? The classic Up North standard—Jim Beam.

MARVELOUS. HOW IS IT? Oddly sweet. And kind of bourbon-y. Mostly sweet, though.

BOURBON-Y MAKES SENSE. WHAT KIND OF SWEET? WOULD YOU CALL IT “CLOYING”? Indeed. As one of my favorite food writers might say, “The drink was cloyingly sweet. Better were the mushrooms.”

WELL PHRASED. SO HOW DOES THIS COMPARE TO THE KIND OF OLD FASHIONED THAT MOST PEOPLE ENCOUNTER? IS THERE MUDDLED FRUIT? A SUGAR CUBE? BITTERS? SUCH? I would say that if you’ve ever had a standard supper club old fashioned, you’ve had this old fashioned. Not even the faintest hint of actual fruit, bitters, or sugar. Come to think of it, that may have been the mystery liquid’s job.

I SEE. WILL YOU HAVE ANOTHER? You know me, I’ve got a mean sweet tooth. But I’m seriously contemplating one of these “Tippy Cows” that the woman next to me is talking about.

SOUNDS DIRTY. Not if you’ve seen her.

(Thanks to Matthew, who hopefully got the perch fish fry and salad bar.)