“So there was this couple at the bar, I guess this woman sent her burger back because it was too rare and she was pregnant. I hope that’s not true, because apparently she ordered a cocktail that was ‘half whisky, half bourbon.’ I dunno, man, I got there and had to take over. They were pleasant enough, but the card was declined. And then they could only pull, like thirty bucks together. So they had to call someone else for a credit card, but they wrote the number down wrong. So they had to call back. Whatever. Eventually they got it right. What can I say? I got a $5 tip. That’s something… I guess?”