Overheard Customer Interactions: One Liners

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Convention attendee, still wearing her name badge: “Is there a way you can mix up an old fashioned that’s, like, non-alcoholic but still tastes… right?”

Somewhat befuddled woman, upon discovering that Miller Lite is unavailable: “Oh, they only sell brew-your-own beer here.”

Drunk woman sitting at the bar at sundown, as a bartender adjust the lighting: “No! No! NO! LIGHTS DOWN! LIGHTS DOWN!”

Young woman, after requesting a “fruity beer” and sipping the suggested New Glarus Belgian Red: “No… no, that’s not… I mean, I’m looking for something fruity in a different way… like Leinenkugel’s orange shanty.”

Calm host to extremely agitated old man: “Sir, all of these tables are reserved. And yes, you do have a reservation. But I can’t seat you when you show up TWO AND A HALF HOURS EARLY.”