Overheard Customer Interactions: Random Wedding Party Moments


Random scenes from a recent afternoon, as wedding parties invade the bar…


YOUNG FEMALE PATRON: Can I get a brandy old fashioned sweet?

BARTENDER: Absolutely.

YFP: Oh, but with less sugar?

B: Well, yeah, I can put in less sugar. Are you sure you want it “sweet”?

YFP: Oh yeah! Definitely a brandy old fashioned sweet. Just with less sugar.

B: Okay. Or I could make it without the sweet soda. I could do press. Or just soda?

YFP: Oh no, no, but do you have diet soda?

B: Yes, sure. So a brandy old fashioned sweet with less sugar and diet soda.

YFP: Yes! Oh, and bitters. Is that bitters?

B: You’re in luck. These are bitters, yes.

YFP: That’s so great!

B: Uh… yes, I guess so?


OLD DUDE (Father of the bride, presumably): So we can sit over here, right?

SERVER: I’m sorry, no. All the tables are for dining. You’re welcome to sit anywhere at the bar.

OD: But the bar is full. So can we sit at these tables?

S: No, again, those are for dining.

OD: But the bar is full.

S: Yes, it is.

OD: What about this table?

S: Same as the rest.

OD: So where can we sit?

(Repeat for a solid three minutes.)


WOMAN: Would it be okay to ask for a Bloody Mary?

BARTENDER: It’s a little late for one, but that’s fine. I’ve got everything I need to make one right here.

W: Okay. Give me a Bloody Mary.

(Garnish is procured, ingredients are mixed, cocktail is assembled. Woman sips drink.)

W: This tastes like… pickles.

B: Well, yes. That’s what a Bloody Mary tastes like. There’s brine.

W: Do they all taste like this?

B: Generally, yes.

W: It’s not at all what I wanted. Can I get a Cosmo?

B: Yeah, that’ll probably work out better.