Top 10 signs you are a good tipper

gratuity39d26d536635ea3e_largeDo you think you know how to tip? Most of you will probably say yes, or at the very least have some formula your mother gave you because math is not your strong suit. These 10 tipping points will either put your mind at ease or finally make you realize why your drinks took twice as long when revisiting your local watering hole.



A good tipper knows:

10. You tip 20% every time, or a dollar or more for every drink served. The hard and fast rule is: 15% means you have had bad service overall, 10% if your server just didn’t give a damn, 20% standard, 25% if you will request this server/service again, and 30% … (see below.) If you leave no tip, you’re a dick, period. (Oh, and in 10 years guess what? These percentages go up, so prepare your cheap teenaged kids.)

9. You don’t round down to the nearest penny when trying to ease the future balancing of your finances. If you want to double zero your change because you like neat and clean numbers when balancing your checkbook, go up from “5”. Come on, we learned how to round in grade school! Then again, if you round down you’re probably a 15% tipper anyway.

8. You don’t leave the credit card tip line blank when leaving a tip in cash. Okay, this one is not too common, or a bad mistake necessarily. If you leave a tip in cash when paying with a card write “cash” or “on table” in the tip line. This serves two purposes, one, the server/bartender will know that their service was compensated and two, our upper management will not look at our blank tip lines as a sign that we are giving bad service. Makes sense right? (Well, to a good tipper it does.)

7. You don’t need to stare at a bill for 20 minutes before deciding what to tip. Do you remember what your mother told you? Hopefully it was this (based on 20% that is): Under $100 tab, take the first number of your bill, double it, if the second number is 5 or over, add one dollar (or more for obvious reasons.) $100 or more, same formula except you double the first two numbers. $1000 or more …. if you don’t know how to tip at this point you should be eliminated from society.

6. You tip on the full amount of your bill before any discounts or gift card amounts are applied. The ultimate slap in the face to servers/bartenders is tipping on your discount. Just because you got 30% off of your bill does not mean I served you 70% of the time, tip appropriately [on the full amount.]

5. You increase your tip to 30% for above and beyond service. Okay, our job has parameters, as do yours I imagine. An experienced diner knows what we do to make you happy but, for those who don’t, log this in your brain, the moment you see us cleaning up after a ridiculous mess that you or your guests have made, you should consider how many points above 20% your mess is worth – smashed up food, spit, and dirty snot rags are not in our job description, just sayin’…

4.  You don’t wait for everyone at the table to pay their portion (when splitting payment on a check) hoping that by the time it gets to you, you will owe the least amount. If you are religious, THIS IS A SIN, if you are not, we will personally curse you to burn in the heat of a thousand suns FOR ETERNITY. Also, THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO is tip on the left over amount i.e. the tab is $100, 3 people pay with their credit cards asking the server to put $30 dollars on each card (covering their tip as well), you receive the remaining $10 balance and leave $15 … we call upon the darkness of hell to swallow you.

3. You don’t tip in anything other than paper or coin currency. You probably thought it was cute to leave your $10 Denny’s gift card, or 10th punch for a free sub as a tip, it’s not, is trite, and offensive. “But it’s money, right?” Try covering the balance of your electric bill with a Denny’s card and get back to me.

2. When the server/bartender drops the tab, and you and your guest begin the uncomfortable game of the “No, I’ll pay…” tennis match. You DON”T say, “Give it to me, I’m a better tipper.” 10 times out of 10, if you say this, you’re NOT.  

1. The server or bartender knows your name. Actually, this is true if you are a bad tipper too. Bottom line folks is know your dining community, don’t live in a bubble, and if you are a high maintenance diner, compensate the person attending to your needs appropriately – I don’t mind getting you a half coke half diet coke with no ice and a shot of vodka on the side but only when the second course of your uber modified entree arrives with an extra scoop of whatever you made my chef throw together, as long as you know that at the end of the meal you may need to pay a nuisance fee.

Thanks, and Happy dining!