Undersexed and Alcoholic, Franky the Fruit Fly Feels Your Pain.

I may never look at finding a fruit fly or two in my drink the same way again. Poor little guys – if I had only known what they went through before that final plunge …

Friday morning I woke up earlier than I wanted, or needed to, and fumbled my puffy post party face downstairs to begin my water consumption and load up on the daily news before work. In my robe and slippers I sat and popped on NBC, the Today Show I think it was, and let the crackling voices of Al Roker and Natalie Morales brush the cobwebs off my face. Al reminded me of how beautiful the weather was going to be, Natalie said something while looking pretty as ever, and I felt my haze begin to clear as the bright new sun warmed the back of my neck. I am pretty sure I was still wearing some pretty heavy eyelids when I heard my TV blare, “… so fruit flies that get rejected when mating, tend to drink more …”

*upright posture, and a “What The Whaaaat!”*

I caught the tail end, then it was gone. What I did gather is that scientists, real scientists – guys smarter than me – were studying the effects that the lack of bumping uglies had on fruit flies. The result is, they got hammered. That’s right, Franky the Fruit Fly, who was probably asked to be a wingman for his buddy JoeFly, got rejected by all the other ladies that Joe ruined for his bro, and Franky proceeded to drink himself to death!

That’s what I got out of the report anyway – then I put some pants on and went to work. All day I thought about little Franky but, I did not disregard the fact that I may have imagined this whole thing …

(TEN HOURS LATER)

*type – click – search*

Sex-deprived fruit flies drink more alcohol: New study could uncover answers for human addictions

This my friends, is going to be interesting. Not only did Franky get totally blotto from rejection, but he may be the link that doctors and scientists need to help human addiction!

The finding has great relevance to addressing human addiction, though it may take years to translate this discovery into any new therapies for addicts, given the much greater complexities of the human mind.

The article presents some interesting findings and I am more than happy to share that with you (click above) – there is however one final, neighborly, thought that I’d like to leave you with. If you are an attractive male who tends to cock block your best mates … you may just be causing their severe alcohol addictions.

OH.

And next time you find a fruit fly in your whiskey … think about the fact that the last words he probably heard were, “I see us more as friends, and I just don’t like you that way.”